Many accommodations I have stayed in here have had a bidet. You see them in other countries, but I never remember seeing as many as there are in Uruguay. 

There have been issues.

In bathrooms, bidets occupy the spot closest to the shower. The toilet is shoved in a corner so when you open the door to enter or leave the bathroom the door gets in the way of you getting to the toilet. The bidet is not something I use so its position of authority in the bathroom is questionable.

In the Ramon Massini Suites in Pocitos, I take a minute to see how one of these contraptions works. Unthinking, I pull up a little handle and get a geyser shot of water spray into my chest.

Subsequently, I go to YouTube and get a first hand explanation of bidets, how they work and proper bidet procedures. There are also units of instruction on using Indian toilets and other methods of taking care of dirty business.

After my experience with the bidet, I resolve to leave them alone.

Now, I enter the bathroom, close the door, sit on my throne with as much dignity as I can compose. 

When you see bidets and realize that half the humans in the world are significantly different from you, it gives a new meaning to the words ” foreign relations.”